By J.R. Miller
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14
Among all Christian duties there are few that touch life at more points than the duty of mutual forbearance, and there are few that, in the observance or the breach, have more to do with the happiness or the unhappiness of life. We cannot live our lives solitarily. We are made to be social beings. It is in our fellowship with others that we find our sweetest pleasures and our purest earthly joys. Yet close by these springs of happiness, are other fountains that do not yield sweetness. There often are briers on the branches from which we gather the most luscious fruits. Were human nature perfect, there could be nothing but most sensitive pleasure in the mutual comminglings of life. But we are all imperfect and full of infirmities. There are qualities in each one of us that are not beautiful--many that are annoying to others. SELF rules in greater or less measure in the best of us. In our busy and excited lives, we are continually liable to jostle against each other. Our individual interests conflict, or seem to conflict. The things we do in the earnest pressing of our own business, and our own plans and efforts, seem at times to interfere with the interests of others. In the heat of emulation and the warmth of self-interest, we are apt to do things which injure others.
Then, in our closer personal contact, in society and in business relations, we are constantly liable to give pain or offense. We sometimes speak quickly and give expression to thoughtless words which fall like sparks on other inflammable tempers. Even our nearest and truest friends do things that grieve us. Close commingling of imperfect lives, always has its manifold little injustices, wrongs, oppressions, slights and grievances.
Also, we do not always see each other in clear and honest light. We are prone to have a bias toward SELF, and often misconstrue the attitudes, words or acts of others. Many of us, too, are given to little petulances and expressions of ill-humor or bad temper, which greatly lessen the probabilities of unbroken fellowship.
Thus it comes about that no Christian grace is likely to be called into play, more frequently than that of mutual forbearance. Without it there can really exist no close and lasting friendly relations in a society composed of imperfect and sinful beings. Even the most tender intimacies and the holiest associations, require the constant exercise of patience. If we resent every apparent injustice, demand the righting of every little wrong, and insist upon chafing, and uttering our feelings at every infinitesimal grievance, and if all the other parties in the circle claim the same privilege--what miserable beings we shall all be, and how wretched life will become!
But there is a more excellent way. The spirit of Christian love inculcated in the New Testament will, if permitted to reign in each heart and life, produce fellowship without a jar or break.
We need to guard first of all against a critical spirit. It is very easy to find fault with people. It is possible, even with ordinary glasses, to see many things in one another that are not what they ought to be. Then some people carry microscopes fine enough to reveal a million animalculae in a drop of water, and with these they can find countless blemishes in the character and conduct even of the most godly dwellers on the earth. There are some who are always watching for slights and grievances. They are suspicious of the motives and intentions of others. They are always imagining offenses, even where none were most remotely intended. This habit is directly at variance with the law of love, which thinks no evil.
